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Fly

By Tina Christophillis

Sep 07th 2011

ExhibitionsInspiration

My next art exhibit is called, "Fly".   I am working with the lovely fashion designer, Rachel Gordan, at her shop, ONE at 478 King St.  As I create new work for this show, my thoughts are along the lines of, "letting go and trusting the inner voice".  Here is a piece I wrote, as I work through the creative struggles in the search for resolution, and somehow, in the search for myself.

You create a lot and then you edit.  You create a lot you don't like and then you get to the good stuff.  That's just the way it is.  The more you let go of preconceived notion the better your work will be.  Sure it's scary but isn't that why we came to this planet earth in this human form?  Because we like the thrill.  We like the ride.  We like the struggle. 

When you are really struggling, that's when things are going well.  That's when you are pushing yourself, and you are growing.  However reluctant you may be, that's when the best stuff happens. 

Learn to love the struggle.  Run to it, not from it.  Dig into that pool of muck, fear and grief, and find your truth.  I guarantee you'll like what you find.  It's never too soon to start.  Not only is now the perfect time, but now is the only time, believe it or not.

Courage is the reward you get from jumping off the cliff and trying to fly even if it means falling flat on your face. 

Confidance is trying again until you actually fly. 

Truth is that North Star you barely see way out in the distance that resonates with some deep inner impulse that's clear and powerful and incredibly more beautiful than anything else you could ever imagine, especially that wimpy whiny cry in your head.

Success is listening to that big clear voice, allowing the wimpiness to diffuse without a production, and flying with all of your strength in the direction of your North Star. 

Your life is what happens when you get tired, need some time and space to rest, and you want to hang in the valleys, deep forests and even the thorn patches below to find others who are biding their time until their next call of action.

Joy is the space you share with others, the connection, the resonance, the way you learn more about yourself through the reflection you see in them, as you prepare yourself for the next journey.  It is the bliss of soaring.

Pain is not ever trying, giving up when it's just getting good, mistaking your North Star for someone else's.

Legacy is loving every minute of it.  Even the pitfalls, the soar wings, the hunger you feel when it seems like you'll never get there.  It is what you gave, the intent of your path, the spirit of all that you ever lived for and all that you ever became.  Legacy is where you'll always be when your spirit's done it's work, it's evolved, and now it must rest in the dream of what it gave.  Until the next flight, the next star, the next heroic plunge forward. 

Flying is all you really have to do in any lifetime.  Learn to fly.  It's easier if you can see your Star and feel the connection deep inside.  Feel the power of knowing, the power of integrity, the power of flying boldly through thunderstorms, grey clouds and abundant sunshine. 

Fly my friends.  I encourage you.  I dare you.  Are you up for the challenge to believe and create?  Will you accept the pain of growth?  I suspect great reward lies ahead.  In fact, I feel the reward is BIG and BOLD and REAL.  I think it will blow your mind.

Fly my beautiful friends.  And I'll see you around. 

September 7, 2011

 

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great painting. I love the colors in this one

Thanks for spenindg time on the computer (writing) so others don’t have to.

When I was a teenager I was able to learn to use sleep paralysis as a gateway to lucid dreams and out of body experiences.  When I was a kid sleep paralysis was absolutely terrifying because I didn’t understand what it was.  I thought I was some sort of freak and was afraid to approach adults about my experiences.  But as I grew older I started going to the library to research the topic and realized that it was related to other strange, spontaneous phenomena, namely out of body experience and lucid dreaming, that I was experiencing.  I soon learned to embrace these skills as gifts rather than abnormalities and have even learned to have OBEs and lucid dreams at will.  As I grew into an adult, other concerns took over and I’d experienced fewer and fewer episodes of SP, OBE, and LD.  Now I kinda miss them since I spend a third of my life sleeping, and I feel that a lot of that is going to waste if I cannot harness these abilities.

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Once upon a time, I turned pages for Jamie when he performed the Kreutzer Sonata at a studio class.  This was before I played it myself, so I was unfamiliar with the theme & variations movement.  There’s one particular variation which is 2 straight pages of 16th notes, and 2 repeats.  I made the mistake of glancing away from the page for a second, and discovered to my horror when I looked back that I couldn’t remember a) where we were, and b) whether we had done the repeats.  I ended up half-standing & hovering for what seemed like an eternity, with Jamie kindly giving me subtle no shakes and finally a clear yes nod.Then there was the time that I turned for a friend playing in a vocal recital @ Scotiafest.  He asked me at the last minute as a favour, so I accepted, forgetting that I was battling the remnants of a nasty cough.  There’s nothing like being on stage and NOT BEING ALLOWED TO COUGH that will make you want to cough up a lung.  I managed to get through the entire thing without once coughing during a piece, but then had a friend in the audience comment on the odd expression on my face at various times.

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Hazel   thanks for your note.  (LOVE The Sartorialist!!).  All black is often the default colour because it’s the easier to unify (imagine an ensemble full of slightly different shades of red), it’s easy on the eyes, and the audience tends to focus more on the music than if the ensemble were wearing different colours.  The problem with saying go for it, wear any colour is what one person considers stylish another will consider completely inappropriate.  There there’s the issue of colour clashing.  And in classical music, there are known stereotypes about what kind of dress is associated with certain types of music.  Opera performers (and audiences) tend to go all out with style and flamboyance; Baroque performers (and audiences) tend not to consider fashion a big deal and are very low-key with their apparel.  Ultimately, no, I don’t think ensembles should be able to wear any colour; then it looks like a rehearsal.

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